Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Let's Do This....

OK, so I am having a bad day! I need to talk, cry, pray and just get it all out. So I guess what better place to do it then right here with you guys!
This is going to be "REAL" and "RAW"... so don't judge. I'm really putting myself out here.
Why? I don't know...I guess because I love you guys, and I guess because that is who I am.
I don't have anything to hide, if you are going to follow my blogs, you might as well see all of me, the
Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!
As you have seen in my past blogs...it has been a little rough in the Nichols house. A lot of "stuff".
Mostly all of it is just stressful. Money, is not fun to balance with teenagers, a husband starting a new business, me in the "finding myself" stage, and all the hospital visits, wrecks, etc in the past few weeks.
Ever feel like you are robbing Peter to pay Paul? Well that is it in a nut shell, right here!
I have always been a stay at home mom, Praise the Lord, he blessed us in that area. But I have also always had an income of some kind coming in. I've never not contributed in some form or fashion, sometimes having multiple jobs at once.
All juggled around my family.
My priorities I feel have always been balanced, but right now I am doubting myself. And by doubting myself I feel like I am doubting God.
God put me on a journey several months ago, and although I didn't understand it, I made a promise to be totally obedient in whatever path he took me on. I have followed that path faithfully!
But now, I'm confused. I know the path isn't always supposed to be smooth, but I keep wondering if I
am hearing him right.
So many financial obligations have come up since I've started this journey. I have gone through all of my savings, and we are literally living paycheck to paycheck.
I know God gives us tests all the time, and I want to pass the test. I want to stand strong in what I feel God is calling me to do, but I want to do it with a pure, peaceful heart.
Right now, I'm full of anxiety and trying to pull things back into my own hands.
You know how it is....we always think we know what is better for us then God does!
I'm not sure if I'm holding up my end of the bargain lately. When I made God the promise, I was very busy doing His work, and allowing him to work through me. But somewhere on this journey, I got a bit lazy and although I am still doing His works, I don't think I am doing them at my 100 percent best.
It is funny how your flesh can be so strong. It make you feel like you need rest, or you can do that tomorrow, or you have to much on your plate. When reality is, I get plenty of rest, tomorrow may not come, and you can never have to much on your plate if you balance it all properly.
So it is time for me to dust myself off and pull myself back up, ( I should be a pro at this by now), get out of this funk and refocus.
I'm going to give myself a challenge. A challenge that I'm going to have you guys hold me accountable too. I'm going to take the whole month of Nov. and during that month each day, I have to commit to something and finish it. EVERYDAY!
I always have tons I want to do, need to do, and I always say I have tomorrow! Why not TODAY?!?!
So for today's challenge.....I'm going to tackle my closet! I will take scary before pics and after pics that way you know I did what I said I was going to do! Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. Oooh, the closet...that's a BIG one! You can do it, girl...just stay focused. I love your heart, Tara, and your desire to be the woman God wants you to be. Let Him take you by the hand and lead you through this day. Praying for you and for your precious family!